Future Insider Gifts

'As a career goal, I'd like to work in government, get the goods on someone, and write a tell-all book.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"We come from the future and just want to say: Hey, thanks for the planet!"

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

Olympic Climate

Paw readings

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"My father was a Brexit negotiator and his father before him..."

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

The 2024 Deepfake awards

'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'It's Blurred.'

DACA

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'