Future Foresee-er Gifts

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

Pipe Dream.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Three more years of high school."

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Saving for College.

"Where do you expect to be ten years from now?"

Totalitarian Humour

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"It will be all your fault."

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"