Future Data Guru Gifts

'Remind me to never again ask him what he learned in school.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

"Let's see now. This one goes right here."

"I tell you, I don't like the looks of it."

Aggression/Security

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'That one is a bit more expensive, but it comes with a profit.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

"Profits lately have been spiraling downward."

Businessman dreaming of pie charts when he sees a pizza.

'Do you want your pie-chart with everything?'

Man stabbed by fallin arrow on wall chart.