Data Geek Gifts

Man stabbed by fallin arrow on wall chart.

'Contrary to popular opinion, most people's opinions aren't so popular.'

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

Sales of Viagra

Extreme Science

'Suzy, I hate to break the news to you like this, but there's a good reason why your new boyfriend doesn't fit in amongst the townsfolk too well...Yes Suzy. He's a Notorious Outlier.'

"Do you have any data to back that up?"

"So much is written, so little advanced."

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

'Punxsutawney Phil says six more weeks of winter, everybody!'

Bureau of statistics.

"Back in the industrial age, this was, I believe, a steel mill."

Research, Development and More Research.

"If it weren't for you, we'd have nothing in the cloud."

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

Computer: 'It's my data - it's been rubbed raw.'

It was great. The program showed profits and sales were up 95. Then I discovered my computer had a virus.

"Google predicts she's going to become an archaeologist."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

The Pie Chart of Mystery

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

The DaVinci Code

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Elfie Stick

If nobody had invented graphics

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"