Data Nerd In Love Gifts

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Fear/Knowledge

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'You said the computer was coming between us. So I put your name as my password.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

Big Data Tonight

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Aggression/Security

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

"I hate it when the palcebo does better than the drugs we're testing."

'Remind me to never again ask him what he learned in school.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'That one is a bit more expensive, but it comes with a profit.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

"Now, who can I trust with a pie chart?"