Future Bride Comedian Gifts

"Ahhh... and this must be the beautiful bride tubby...Errr I mean to be."

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'He does.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

The Aisle

"If either of you know any cause or impediment why you should not be married, INCLUDING YouTube CLIPS, declare it now."

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"You may now kiss the bride."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"He's a terrific photographer but weddings are not his specialty."

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for a full 13 episodes...?

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

"So, Mrs. Fessler, I understand you're a stand-up comic."

"And do you, Bob, promise to treat Karen as well as you treat your vintage 1950 Indian Blackhawk motorcycle?"

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

'Swear on your unpublished novels that you will support each other's ridiculous dreams.'

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."