Futility Fan Gifts

"The first person to reach the moving South Pole."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Bright idea

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

Santa does a keg stand.

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

Person carrying balloons and plants.

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

'I found another pothole.'

Squirrel and bird feeder.

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

Music shop's sign: We have 'Sleigh Bells'. Weather Bureau's sign: You're gonna need them.

Your Palm

Recycled Flake

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

'Don't forget your thermos.'

'Happy New Year!'

"Kids now program their robots to do their trick-or-treating for them. There's a thin line between ingenuity and laziness."

Priest Halloween costume for boy.

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

'I'll get this rock; you get the other.'

Happy New Year!

Dinosaur balloon