Futility Fan Prints

"The first person to reach the moving South Pole."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Bright idea

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

Santa does a keg stand.

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Person carrying balloons and plants.

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

'I found another pothole.'

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

Squirrel and bird feeder.

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

Recycled Flake

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

Music shop's sign: We have 'Sleigh Bells'. Weather Bureau's sign: You're gonna need them.

Your Palm

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

'Don't forget your thermos.'

"Kids now program their robots to do their trick-or-treating for them. There's a thin line between ingenuity and laziness."

'Happy New Year!'

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

Priest Halloween costume for boy.

Today, it's chic to be cheap.

Happy New Year!

'Tom insists on getting all the relatives together at Christmas.'