Fussy Beverage Enthusiast Gifts

'Bottles water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!...'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

You're the botanicals in my gin

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Scotch and water musick."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

'The King of what?'

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"What'll ya have?"

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

Whiskey wars

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

Rabbit Punch

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.