Furry Gourmet Gifts

Four Star Meal

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

(No caption). Woman looks at cookie sheet which contains two cookies. One is a frowning gingerbread man whose arm, leg and part of its stomach have been bitten off. The second cookie is a smiling gingerbread man who has a very full stomach.

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

'Pigs feet, sir? 'ARE THEY PICKLED?'

Dog Chow Mein

Stand back - while I whip something up

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'We'd like something new and improved for dinner.'

"And for dessert we offer death by chocolate, after life sponge, or the damned for eternity tart."

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

'It's all made by stateless people, wanderers, nomads, whose only anchor is cheese.'

'Freshly ground catnip on your salad?'

'How come you never bring meatballs?'

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

Sandwich Shop

Doctor's recommend a well balanced diet...

Christmas canape?

'Ooh look, you've got a free lucky horseshoe with your giant meatballs.'

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

"People don't care what they're eating as long as they're the first ones to eat it."

Veggie Hamburgers & Hotdogs. . .Ingredients: vegetables & vegetable byproducts.

'Yes Sir that is the lowest calorie dish on the menu, the chef has even eaten the fish for you. He says it was wonderful.'