Furry Enlightenment Seekers Gifts

"The key to meditation is learning to stay."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Dog yoga

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

Guru.

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"All the celebrities come here."

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'Order one with anchovies -- I've never seen a fish!'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

"Are we there yet?"

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

"I think he's lost."

"Hang on a second! This nutcase is allowed on the furniture, but I'm not?!"

"But if I become one with the Universe, won't I get BLAMED for everything?"

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

'You're allowed up on the couch.'

"Actually, I just came up here to get away from leading economic indicators."

Descartes' dog.

Big Bark Theory (canine version of the origin of the universe)

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

"...To sum up, then, everything is illusory - Do you guys have any questions?"

'I found enlightenement, and I still pull down my $250,000 per. What more can I ask?'

'We're very worried about your hormone levels.'