Furniture Defender Gifts

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

'We need to get him a scratching post.'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

Man in office fencing with pieces of paper flying about

'Remember not to shirk the paperwork.'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

Man with Sword in Penholder

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

Fish with Shield

"You wouldn't believe a little dog like that could create so much hair."

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

A clown walks into his living room and sees a balloon animal scratching up the furniture

'You''ll just have to accept the fact that they're more concerned with their furniture than with you.'

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

'I am an unhappy employee.'

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

'Sorry darling: I'm a great ape, I can use primitive tools, but this is too difficult for me...'

'Herbert's security hookup lets him make sure no one took over his desk while he's on vacation.'

Job Stress.

The Moth Menace.

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

Couch on stilts so cats can't scratch it

Castle Cat Flap

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

"...P.S. Stay off the furniture!"