Furniture Defender Gifts

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

'We need to get him a scratching post.'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

Boy defends his last fry.

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

'Remember not to shirk the paperwork.'

Man in office fencing with pieces of paper flying about

Fish with Shield

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

Man with Sword in Penholder

"You wouldn't believe a little dog like that could create so much hair."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

A clown walks into his living room and sees a balloon animal scratching up the furniture

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

Job Stress.

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

'Sorry darling: I'm a great ape, I can use primitive tools, but this is too difficult for me...'

'You''ll just have to accept the fact that they're more concerned with their furniture than with you.'

'Herbert's security hookup lets him make sure no one took over his desk while he's on vacation.'

'I am an unhappy employee.'

The Moth Menace.

Couch on stilts so cats can't scratch it

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

Seat Belt