Fashion Defender Gifts

The Moth Menace.

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

Scarf puts hat back on.

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

Rock and Roll

"Just a minute, Mister. You're not going out of here looking like that."

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'More hair than brains.'

"How's it look back there?"

Man burning his tie.

Punkins

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

'Good luck with the presentation dear and I still think it would be better without the hat!'

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

How Fashion Works - 'You obviously haven't heard - the adults are wearing them narrow now,'

"Am I passionate about fashion? Yep, I guess you could say I'm fashionate."

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

"Fashion Week"

"Does this make me think I look good?"

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

Vacancies in Customer Care - Up Yours

Suits 50% Off

'Does anyone have a question?'

"...and if we need someone with an earrings, I'll be in touch."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Personnel Manager to applicant: 'Your resume and references are excellent, but your hair is too silly.'

"Nice. Got this in camo?"