Furniture Arranging Gifts

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

'Donna has been taking FENG SHUI classes.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Interior design trends for parents....

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Doing the borders.

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Rose Garden

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Fittd shēt

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Eco Princess

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"Surprise!"

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

The Garden

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Plant Reference Library - Flowers/Trees.

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."