Furniture Re-arranger Gifts

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

Fumes from furniture

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

The Upholstery Consultant

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'And here to explain his study on the migration patterns of Earthlings...'

"Richard P. Ruggles—a man and his mantelpiece."

'The Sacked Executive's Officer Furniture Goes in the Small Van...the Salary Package in the Other.'

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

Painter and Decorator/Wallpaper

Chainsaw and Chair

Movers & Shakers

"Sir, you said that it's high time to fix the problem, so I rearranged the furniture, watered the flowers and made fresh coffee. If that wasn't enough then maybe we should find some problems that fit our solutions."

'The sugar chest is original but the contents are artificial.'

"Dancing with the liquidators."

Kitchen Table Issues

'Donna has been taking FENG SHUI classes.'

'This is where I'm thinking of putting my husband.'

'-and my wife likes to rearrange the furniture from time to time!'

'Here we go again, Mr Gloez, you are NOT a couch mechanic!'

'Frankly, Mrs. Wickham, I liked the furniture better the way it was.'

"It's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

'We didn't expect you this early!'

Antiques, Furniture Stripping, Stripping.

'It's a thousand pities you had to miss those final weeks of your upholstery class.'

"Technically I have managed to get that big old sofa out the door..."

'Of course there's a solution - buy a three seater settee.'

Flatpack furniture: Invention of men hating feminists.

A planet like ours - Ants carrying a piano.

'If you don't have a TV, what do you arrange your furniture around?'

Cut out and keep your own French Polisher.