Furniture Re-arranger Pillows

"Fine. We'll pull the bed away from the window."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

Fumes from furniture

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

The Upholstery Consultant

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

"Richard P. Ruggles—a man and his mantelpiece."

'The Sacked Executive's Officer Furniture Goes in the Small Van...the Salary Package in the Other.'

'And here to explain his study on the migration patterns of Earthlings...'

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"Sir, you said that it's high time to fix the problem, so I rearranged the furniture, watered the flowers and made fresh coffee. If that wasn't enough then maybe we should find some problems that fit our solutions."

Painter and Decorator/Wallpaper

Moving. Mortgage payments bankrupted them. I guess "housebroken" means something different in their case.

Movers & Shakers

Chainsaw and Chair

'Donna has been taking FENG SHUI classes.'

'Here we go again, Mr Gloez, you are NOT a couch mechanic!'

'The sugar chest is original but the contents are artificial.'

Oh wow. Love your work.

Kitchen Table Issues

'-and my wife likes to rearrange the furniture from time to time!'

"Dancing with the liquidators."

'This is where I'm thinking of putting my husband.'

"It's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

'Frankly, Mrs. Wickham, I liked the furniture better the way it was.'

Antiques, Furniture Stripping, Stripping.

'We didn't expect you this early!'

'It's a thousand pities you had to miss those final weeks of your upholstery class.'

"Technically I have managed to get that big old sofa out the door..."

'Of course there's a solution - buy a three seater settee.'

A planet like ours - Ants carrying a piano.

'If you don't have a TV, what do you arrange your furniture around?'

Flatpack furniture: Invention of men hating feminists.