Fur-tunate Thespian Gifts

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Sock Puppet in Literature

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

Tabletop Theatre

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

Ventriloquist Grave

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"There's so much pressure to like monkeys."

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

"I sensed a fine balance between the misery on the stage and the misery in the audience."

Ham-Dram

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

Comedy, Tragedy and News.

"I'm retired actor Daniel Day Lewis. They thought I was I was good. They don't know how good."

Music Quiz

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

"I wanted to go for an explicit sex scene, but now I see this, I think I will opt for the suggestive approach!"

Jumbo in Henrik Ibsen's The Wild Duck

"O.K., I just found my wife in bed with my best friend and I go into a rage. What's my motivation?"

'Other than the hatchet I don't know what could be wrong with it.'

Baby

"I haven't had the heart to tell him vaudeville's dead."

'Hold' (an interpretative dance)

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