Fur-tastic Humor Gifts

'He's the laziest dog I've ever seen.'

"Do me next."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

Snowmobull

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Of Mice and Men.

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Honk if you love me!"

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"I hate it..."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Don't tell anyone, but some of my best cartoons are about cats."

"You're famous, Angus."

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

"I've been at loose ends lately."