Fur-tastic Humor Gifts

'He's the laziest dog I've ever seen.'

"Do me next."

"It get it – you're hungry."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

Snowmobull

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Of Mice and Men.

"Honk if you love me!"

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"I hate it..."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

"Don't tell anyone, but some of my best cartoons are about cats."

"You're famous, Angus."

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

"I've been at loose ends lately."