Fur Parent Humorist Gifts

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

Babies vs. Dogs

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

Conversation between Dogs.

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

When is he coming home buddy?

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

Good, but not Great Danes.

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

Baby reading 'To do list'.

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

A (P)ram.

"Don't take it personally, Max — to him, you're just a dog."