Fur Parent Fanatic Gifts

"That is not my pee I'm smelling."

"Foster failure"

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"A little help, please."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Babies vs. Dogs

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

Fur Baby

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Upper East Side Dog Park

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

When is he coming home buddy?

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'