Fur Parent Comedians Pillows

'I'd better not find out electric blanket in your doghouse again.'

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Babies vs. Dogs

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

When is he coming home buddy?

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

"Remember this about new babysitters - making rules and enforcing them are two different things.".

Baby reading 'To do list'.

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."