Fur-parent-fun Pillows

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Babies vs. Dogs

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

Fleas Navidad.

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

When is he coming home buddy?

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'She feeds me, walks me, washes me, and picks up after me...yet...I'm supposed to be man's best friend?'

"Pampered?"

"You've got to lay off the homework."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

"Don't take it personally, Max — to him, you're just a dog."

Cat to owner: 'Define 'affection'.'