Fur Parents Pillows

'Hoping to help me with dinner, are you?'

'I know I should be thankful I have a good home, but if he talks baby talk to me one more time, I swear I'll go for his throat.'

"Of course I hear it when you say 'come'. I just choose to ignore it."

'Sure, it's easy for you to plan for the long haul... with your nine lives!'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Babies vs. Dogs

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Fleas Navidad.

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

When is he coming home buddy?

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'Oh there you are...you naughty girl! What have you been up to this time?'

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

'She feeds me, walks me, washes me, and picks up after me...yet...I'm supposed to be man's best friend?'

"Pampered?"