Fur Parent Extraordinaire Pillows

'A case of V/D prescription diet, please!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Babies vs. Dogs

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Fur Baby

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

Upper East Side Dog Park

Examination.

'...and I know exactly how to interpret his barks.'

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

When is he coming home buddy?

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."