Fur Parent With Funny Bones Pillows

'I have some pet peeves we need to discuss.'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Babies vs. Dogs

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Fleas Navidad.

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

When is he coming home buddy?

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'She feeds me, walks me, washes me, and picks up after me...yet...I'm supposed to be man's best friend?'

"Pampered?"

Cat to owner: 'Define 'affection'.'

"You've got to lay off the homework."