Fur Parents Mugs

'Hoping to help me with dinner, are you?'

'I know I should be thankful I have a good home, but if he talks baby talk to me one more time, I swear I'll go for his throat.'

"Of course I hear it when you say 'come'. I just choose to ignore it."

'Sure, it's easy for you to plan for the long haul... with your nine lives!'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

Babies vs. Dogs

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

When is he coming home buddy?

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

'Oh there you are...you naughty girl! What have you been up to this time?'

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"Pampered?"

"You've got to lay off the homework."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Pet Owners' Date Night

"Don't take it personally, Max — to him, you're just a dog."