Fur Family Manager Pillows

Cat steals food from owner who is distracted by feeding the dog.

"Foster failure"

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Babies vs. Dogs

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

When is he coming home buddy?

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

'It wasn't premeditated.

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

"The emotional support goes both ways."

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

"You've got to lay off the homework."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

"Don't take it personally, Max — to him, you're just a dog."

Vets: 'That's funny, he was here a minute ago.'

"He's sending an instant message."

Dog wearing gas mask brings slippers to his owner.

'I think I'm feeding you too much.'

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'