Fur Management Guru Pillows

"Our dog's shedding is worse than we thought. Someone called here and they still got hair on them."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

Dog yoga

"National security adviser"

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

Dogs shaving

"My best managerial trait is that I dig for answers until I get them between my teeth. My worst trait is that sometimes I bury them."

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Whack-a-mole CEO.

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

"Leadership ISN'T just about trying to be BETTER than everyone else!"

'Now, who owns this project?'

'I must say, I do like your incentive program.'

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

'You'll never succeed until the kissing up becomes instinctual.'

'It's really lonely at the top of a dot.com company.'

"We need to eliminate the middleman."

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

"Jim, say hi to Tom, our severance consultant."

'BBC Training course' "Repeat after me"