Family Manager Pillows

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

"I managed a house with four kids, three dogs, and twelve plants. How's that for management experience?"

"By your own admission, Bennett, you have twelve children. I'm afraid our insurance company defines that as a preexisting condition."

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Okay, everyone...time to clean up the house. Gracie, what job do you want?"

"My kids have called so many times from college askign for money that I asked to be put on the no call list."

"Being a mum is a full-time job."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"I had to skip my workout."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"Hello?"

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

'It wasn't premeditated.

"Did you remember to do everything I asked, even the small things I said in passing that didn't sound like real requests?"

man juggling career, home and children

'It's OK to take your work home with you. It's not OK to bring your home to work with you.'

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

"Okay, you two! Clean up the house and do the laundry while I take the kids to school!"

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

Jason and the Aga notes.

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'