Family Management Pillows

"My to-do list is somewhere on there."

'Don't you realize, Jason, that when you throw furniture out of the window and tie your sister to a tree, you make Mommy and Daddy very sad.'

"I raised three kids, so you could say I was in risk management."

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

"I don't see how we can carry on without making some major sacrifices. . ."

"Working from home he misses his meetings."

Let's get organized

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

A Day In The Kitchen

"By labeling it, I control it."

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I had to skip my workout."

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

Hassled Mother.

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

The family picnic is at 5. Would you please boil the eggs, Twig? And Teddy? Go clean out the cooler! Oh! Grab the badminton set, too. Stop. Your little cousins will need entertaining! Leave it to mom � To take the independence out of Independence Day.

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

"I can't party like I used to, I've got enough Tupperware"

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'