Household Management Pillows

'If you're not busy....any chance of a coffee ?'

'So far, so good ? I've got our budget all balanced except for food, clothing, and shelter!'

'Sure I know what would solve this problem. More floor space.'

"I managed a house with four kids, three dogs, and twelve plants. How's that for management experience?"

'Kids! I've asked you to clean up you bedrooms 7 times now!!!'

'How hard would it be to put your dirty glass in the dishwasher, instead of leaving it on the counter?'

man juggling career, home and children

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

"The 'wage gap' mostly disappears when you control for the fact that women work far fewer hours than men."

Jason and the Aga notes.

'Is it a wart or a boil, doc?'

'It's similar to the government's system of checks and balances. I write the checks and you try to balance them.'

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

'Ours was a marriage of convenience - your father thinks it convenient for me to do all the work !'

"I guess Gracie isn't happy with her allowance."

"One day this will all be yours - along with most of the household chores."

"Not right this second, but I'm very unhappy with that refrigerator."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'Goodnight, honey … did you remember to plug little Joe out?'

'I wish you had planned your retirement more carefully.'

'Do you Barbara, promise to keep an organized household, with constantly updated 'to do' lists, so that your husband won't constantly walk around the house with a confused look on his face?'

'ONLINE PROJECT! - I'll give you an online project.'

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'

'I put the bins out.' - 'Hold on, I just need to finish a really important e-mail.' - '*whine*' - 'Okay, okay! Who's a good boy, then?!' - 'Me! I am!'

Unusual Washing Line

"Frankly, I can't really understand why my husband would be referred to as a "Domestic Cat": he does nothing around the house..."

"Are you ready to do it my way!?"

"I'm not keeping score. I won a long time ago."

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

The Toilet paper roll...do they magically appear on the holders?

Female Football Players

"Mom, call the appliance store. The self-cleaning stove isn't cleaning itself!"

"Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?"

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

"I date everything before I freeze it, so I know when to throw it away."