Fur-family Care Gifts

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

Babies vs. Dogs

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

"I had to skip my workout."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Boy and his dog

"Did you remember my mints?"

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

Over the years, Marvin began to look like his bull mastiff.

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

When is he coming home buddy?

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

Policeman talking to lost child

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

"The emotional support goes both ways."