Fur Family Gifts

"Dude! Have you no shame?"

'He's about five ten...dark brown hair...slim...'

"Foster failure"

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

Babies vs. Dogs

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

'That's our Rex - he loves to dog paddle.'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

When is he coming home buddy?

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"He wants a second opinion."

"The emotional support goes both ways."

"He's sending an instant message."

"You've got to lay off the homework."

"Don't take it personally, Max — to him, you're just a dog."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Vets: 'That's funny, he was here a minute ago.'