Fur Family Fan Gifts

'You know, in dog years, five is the new three.'

"Foster failure"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"A little help, please."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

Why Poodles Become Killers

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

Baskerville Tabby.

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

(Overachieving Dog) (Just get me the paper and let Mr. Rather go!)

"I need to go home now! I'm all out of pee!"

"Yeah, going to the dog park is good, but I must prefer a more intimate walk with my Master..."

'Master is too lazy to walk us, so we walk each other...'

Woman welcomes back her cat but not its new kittens.

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

"So what if you were adopted from the shelter! As fas as I am concerned, you're still my brother and I love you! come here..."

Freak Family.

"She's a Malaysian Longhair, but we don't know what."

'The woman who crossed the street when she say Marmaduke. . . I think she was his groomer.'

"The meaning of life is cats."

'Imagine that! You have hairball problems too?'

'He has been asked to review a new dog treat ... '

"Get out of that chair! Frank and Bernice will be here in an hour and I really don't want to spend half of that time cleaning cat hair off the furniture."

"Don't push her off! Can't you see she's exhausted?"

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'