Fur-family Fans Gifts

'Now listen: The best time to lick the kids' faces is right after lunch...'

"Foster failure"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

"A little help, please."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

Why Poodles Become Killers

Dog Looks Alarmed At The Vets.

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

'Master is too lazy to walk us, so we walk each other...'

Baskerville Tabby.

(Overachieving Dog) (Just get me the paper and let Mr. Rather go!)

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

"So what if you were adopted from the shelter! As fas as I am concerned, you're still my brother and I love you! come here..."

'You know, in dog years, five is the new three.'

'The woman who crossed the street when she say Marmaduke. . . I think she was his groomer.'

'Are you here, Alfred?'

"She's a Malaysian Longhair, but we don't know what."

"The meaning of life is cats."

'Imagine that! You have hairball problems too?'

"What's it like to be the parent of a nonhuman?"

'He has been asked to review a new dog treat ... '

"All it says is 'loyal and trustworthy friend', but that's not the real me."

Cat Show - Sheds Most

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

'I always keep him on a leash when I take him for a walk...'