Fur Fan Gifts

'The woman who crossed the street when she say Marmaduke. . . I think she was his groomer.'

Why Poodles Become Killers

"You know what my favorite thing is? When my master opens her hand - and there is a kibble - just for me! Oh, man - I love that!"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Pick me!"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Sign my yearbook?"

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

Frog to frog: 'Do you promise to love me warts and all?'

"I love you too, big guy."

Young Dr. Dolittle.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

Camping-Pong

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

You said you wanted beer with hops !

Pond Dipping...

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

Kensington Fluffies

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'