Funny Surgery Moments Gifts

"Oops – I think that was a tan line."

Pinocchio has a nose job.

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

'Can you believe I was open for six months, and not one single client?!?'

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"Mr Brown. Are you in for a triple bypass or an ingrown toenail?"

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

The Grim Reaper as a surgical assistant.

"Which is it today doctor, - Back, Beatles, or Backstreet Boys?"

'What are you complaining about...they told you this was MINOR surgery!'

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

"They're to remind me to change your bandages."

We've had a lot of power cuts lately, but but don't worry we have a back up system.

"Well I'm out of ideas, here, anyone else want to give this a stab?"

"My husband's a surgeon, he can't let go of his work."

Surgical mittens, an idea whose time has not come.

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

"He's counted backwards by fives, he's named all fifty states plus their capitals. I'm telling you, the tank's out of anesthesia."

A Doctor sewing up a Patient's incision with a sewing machine.

"My son is failing out of medical school, so to help him get extra credit, I'm allowing him to operate on you."

'Turn the camera off! Turn off the web cam!'

'I have a complaint about my bill.'

Cosmetic surgery bin: 'Bits & Boobs'

'Hot! Hot!'

'Perhaps I was a bit TOO graphic in explaining the surgical procedure.'

'Your plastic surgery went great...you look terrific!'

"The white carpet in here was a mistake."

'Alright, which one of you is the patient?'

"Normally, I make a tiny incision just below the naval. But I saw a spider."

'I need my PPI money to pay for my PIP's.'