Funny Moments Fanatic Gifts

Son burying his dad in sand

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"What the hell took so long?"

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

Malfunctioning geyser

"This does not make us friends."

'You're going the wrong way, Ben!'

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

"I hab peenut buffer stok to woof of my mout!"

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

"That song in your heart has a nice beat to it."

'Listen to this: Each drop of water we drink may have once been in a glacier, Attila the Hun's stew, Mike Tyson's sweat, Liberace's bathwater, drool from a...'

Funky Facts - UK kids.

"Wow! I never knew the Vancouver Island marmot is among the rarest animals in the world! Pretty cool, huh?"

"Next time your virtual fish dies, please don't try flushing your computer down the toilet."

"The computers are down. You'll just have to suffer and go outside and play."

"Do you know why we pulled you over today, sir?"

Even before we began to order in, my dad was always keen to skip the dishes!

Meeting Melanie's parents suddenly turns awkward.

"It's the only 'L' word you can click on."

Gravestone Epitaph - 'One surreal gag too far.'

'I'd like to return this snake. It's suffering from reptile dysfunction.'

Humps ahead.

'And...?'

Working from home

'Do you know how hard Daddy had to work to get all those dinosaur brains?'

"Did you know the Sun is 93 million miles from Earth?"

"He's a cross between a great dane and a bicycle pump. . . and really puts the wind up the postman."

'I always carry my hammer, incase we're shipwrecked, and I need it to crack coconuts.'

Allegator in the Waiting Room

'That's the last time you have a sip of coffee.'