Funny Moments Lover Gifts

Working from home

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"What the hell took so long?"

Malfunctioning geyser

"This does not make us friends."

Son burying his dad in sand

'You're going the wrong way, Ben!'

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

"The computers are down. You'll just have to suffer and go outside and play."

'I had a wonderful evening, Oswald but this wasn't it,I'm afraid!'

"How did my mom know I went to get ice cream after school? She's either placed a tracking device on me, or she's tracking my phone."

"Do you know why we pulled you over today, sir?"

Meeting Melanie's parents suddenly turns awkward.

'Look, Mom. I'm belly dancing.'

'And...?'

"Tuna and chicken bone breakfast smoothie. We were going to surprise you."

'One baby, one placenta, one umbilical cord...stock-taking never takes long in here.'

"Papi! Baldo broke my favorite pencil!"

'That's the last time you have a sip of coffee.'

"He's the new Turkish signing"

Woman Dancing.

Hound dog sniffing and pointing at bunny slippers.

"Quick interruption to assure you I'm listening and not just rehearsing a response over and over in my head."

'Will this take long? I'm late for a very important date.'

'How was that for me?'

The Drinker.

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"

You're never alone! You're constantly being watched by millions of germs!

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