Funny Gifts Collector Pillows

"Are you the pickle guy or the baby guy?"

Speed Dating for Turtles

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Cheeze Wiz.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Ball as water-melon.

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

Balloon dog poos.

Kissing the Fish

'Head down...eye on the ball...'

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

State of the Art Dog.

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

'No, don't tell me...split personality.'

Cat has swallowed computer mouse.

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

"Well thank you, and may I say you look quite handsome too..."

'Okay,stay close, and stay alert! Looks like we're heading into BIG CAT COUNTRY!'

Chameleon and TV

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

"Ah yes… this is Mr Shipley, our new head of strategically placed objects."

"Anatomy of a cat"

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

'Not till you're sixteen.'

"Maybe that metal device we found with the paleolithic stone tools WAS a ray gun!"

"For the missus or yourself?"

Odorant

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'