Funny Gift Fan Pillows

"We call it the iPlod and it allows you to carry your whole music library around with you!"

Fish caught on a hook.

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

I love Museum Shops

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Edvard Grieg

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

Never give a cow a giant straw.

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'You should work for Conglomo. You're allowed the vegetable of your choice.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

Man with desk wrapped as a Christmas present.

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

Millionaire trapped in the body of a bum. Please help correct the situation. ?

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

'We only have one brand of beer, but we've got six kinds of flavor straws.'

Emergency Underpants

Toast kidnapper.