Funny Gift Fan Pillows

"We call it the iPlod and it allows you to carry your whole music library around with you!"

Fish caught on a hook.

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

I love Museum Shops

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

Edvard Grieg

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

Never give a cow a giant straw.

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'You should work for Conglomo. You're allowed the vegetable of your choice.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

Emergency Underpants

'We only have one brand of beer, but we've got six kinds of flavor straws.'

Toast kidnapper.

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

House for Sale.

What's really in junk food...