Funny Fitness Friend Gifts

'I want you to touch your toes ten times a day.'

'It's one of the less well known about dangers of a sedentary lifestyle!'

"Go back! You're going the wrong weigh."

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Keep Fit.

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).

"I guess exercise will make me feel more energetic, but I feel like I'm wasting all my energy exercising!"

Dog Weightlifting

"Things that make me feel better/Things I'm too tired to do......Things that make me feel worse/Things I do when I'm tired.

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

"If only legginess were based on circumference."

"Let me help you, dear."

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

'I realize this is an advances aerobics class, but I still don't think we're ready to work out to 'Flight of the Bumble Bee'!'

Check out my six pack.

attorney at law

"Your health insurance only kicks in when you can run 100m in under 10 seconds."

'You have to employ me. . . I may be 17 but my wii fitness age is 62.'

Happy new year, Ernie! Happy new year, Frank! This year I'm going to eat a healthy diet. Okay. I'm going to exercise more. Uh-huh. I'm going to get organized. Right. At least until Thursday or so. Then what? I'll resolve to leave well enough alone!

Take up karate and learn how to break bricks with your cast.

Snowman with tree-trunk arms.

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

Moose is an environmental nightmare, Nana. I beg your pardon? The beef and cereal in his chow is worth 10,000 SUV miles. But consider his offsets. He cleans my floor with natural solvents. I don't need a power-sucking burglar alarm. He listens to all my problems, free of charge. And he saves me from having to join a gym. SO ... I am not ... reducing my canine footprint.

A Muscle checking out some shirts made for Muscles

'Nice! But I call that the 'incredibly impossible forward bend'!'

Elephant chases peanut on stick while running on treadmill.

'What you need is some negative growth.'