Funny Business Enthusiast Gifts

"Hey Mundo, I'm collecting videotape for American's Dumbest Videos! Show me something stupid!"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Spot the difference.

Boss's Desk Says No!

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

The Rubber Ball Company

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'An exxpert team set up a team of special consultants, that then set up a committee whose members asked their 7 year old kids. Now 14 months later they've concluded we're not efficient enough.'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"It lost a little something in translation."

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi