Funny Bone Shaker Gifts

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

An early space launch attempt.

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

Nerdy man wagging his finger.

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'I'll sure be glad when somebody invents cable!'

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

Punkins

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

Will eat your homework for $.

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

"Call me!"

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Good Cop, Annoying Kid.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'