Funny Art Gifts

"Unexpected item in the bagging area..."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

Skeleton playing fetch.

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'Kong, loved your resume but I have to ask for a drug test.'

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

Pampered Pets.

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Sea Horse outside saloon

"Oh, O.K. I can sort of see it."

'Look a huge bird!'

Chippunks

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'Whoa! Must have snowed two feet last night.'

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

Just Browsing.

Boxers vs. Briefs

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

"It turns out I was having an affair and I didn't even know it."

"Tee hee. . . Turner Prize here I come. . .!"

"I couldn't be happier if I were in slop."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Welcome to old age - I come up seven or eight times a night to empty my blowhole, too.