Funny Art Gifts

"Unexpected item in the bagging area..."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

Skeleton playing fetch.

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'Kong, loved your resume but I have to ask for a drug test.'

Sea Horse outside saloon

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

"Oh, O.K. I can sort of see it."

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Chippunks

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

'Whoa! Must have snowed two feet last night.'

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

Just Browsing.

Boxers vs. Briefs

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

"I couldn't be happier if I were in slop."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"It turns out I was having an affair and I didn't even know it."

"Tee hee. . . Turner Prize here I come. . .!"

'Maybe if you cut off an ear it would look better.'