Funeral Rituals Gifts

'He looks so natural, I almost expect him to belch!'

"All we have left is standing room only."

He looks so natural lying there...

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'He loved that dog.'

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

'He was a great writer'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

Life after death

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

Life and Death

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

"I guess laughter wasn’t the best medicine."

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

2pm meet your Creator

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Ventriloquist Grave

Cricketer's funeral

'He never listened to his mother!'

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

'At least they did a good job on him.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'