Funds And Fun Gifts

Looks like another profit's warning

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

"That was a rumor day."

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

'Till debt do us part...'

'Does he do anything besides watch the money?'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

Bookkeeping Club

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

Sounds of the market hitting all time highs. . .

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

Masochism for stockholders.

Canine Bank and Trust. I'd like my account to roll over. I'll go fetch it.

'Do we have enough money for sweets yet?'