Fun-loving Financiers Gifts

I didn't realize there had been so many mergers.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"That was a rumor day."

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

'Till debt do us part...'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"Sorry, the only way we can afford a 3D printer, is if it can print some bearer bonds."

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

Sounds of the market hitting all time highs. . .

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

Bookkeeping Club

'Well, son... I've made my first million by selling my unpaid bills to the paper-recycling guy!'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'Does he do anything besides watch the money?'

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

Masochism for stockholders.

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

Canine Bank and Trust. I'd like my account to roll over. I'll go fetch it.