Financial Fun-lover Gifts

Investments free bumper stickers read 'I Love $'.

Magnifying the Euro

You're £500 overdrawn. Only kidding, but the shock cured your hiccups!

'We've fired the computer that manages you portfolio.'

Snowman in front of IRS wears barrel

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

"I tell you, I don't like the looks of it."

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'As you can clearly see in this Pie Chart...something is eating into our profit margins!'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

"That was a rumor day."

'Today, the market did the 'Ol' Dipsy, but recovered in the 'Doodle'.'

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

In case of falling markets break glass.

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'