Finance Fun-seeker Gifts

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

'Oh my god! We've been the victims of cyber crime. . . someone on the other side of the world has paid all our bills.'

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

"Before interest rates get any higher, maybe we should start thinking about investing in a second elephant."

'I wish I'd thought of tax simplification YEARS ago!'

Extremely short-staffed this year, the IRS turns to decoys to bolster the threat of an audit.

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

'It's another credit card application form. '

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

"Let's eat lunch in the park and play 'Guess that Stranger's Tax Bracket.'"

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'I'm worried about an upcoming depression, so I'm putting most of my money in accident insurance.'

'You'd be amazed at the number of calls we get!'

'We ran your portfolio through the Bull-O-Meter and it showed excellent growth potential. . .'

'Does he do anything besides watch the money?'

Withdrawals, Deposits, Federal Examiners.

"Choosing the right policy is an important decision - you need to ask yourself which toy is best for you."

This Little Pig went to market..."100 shares of Worldwide Global..."

It's difficult holding onto any gains I make in my financial portfolio and seemingly impossible to lose any gains here.

Prehistoric Stress. I hunt and I gather but I still can't pay my mortgage.

"So easy a caveman did do it."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'Time to buy.'

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

Snowflake Investments...penny stocks, junk bonds: 'Here today, gone tomorrow!'

Photobooth Photobomb

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."